The Power of Letting Go and New Beginnings - 6 Ways to Welcome the New
Reading time: 2 minutes
„Let go of who you think you should be to be who you are. Be imperfect and have compassion for yourself. Connection is the result of authenticity.“ -Brené Brown
As beautiful as Brene Brown’s words are, it is often easier said than done. We must welcome the end of patterns that do not serve us anymore and have compassion for ourselves. It’s not easy to be vulnerable and open within the space of not knowing. Sometimes not knowing can last forever and is the only way to fall in love with what is, moment, to moment, to moment. New beginnings in our lives always involve letting go of the past. New beginnings can be so beautiful and full of energy but they often can come alongside emotional roller coasters of vulnerability, fear, tightness, grief, and many different emotions depending on the situation we are in.
You might wonder, is it worth the risk? Will I get hurt?
It often feels easier to stay where you are with that which is familiar to you, people, positions, and places until you might come to realize that something feels off. Discontentment might arise in you, or you seem to experience the same uncomfortable situations again and again. This might make you seek a change in your life.
6 ways to welcome new beginnings and to start letting go
Engage in self-care
When we are hurt, we often feel vulnerable. Invite the practice of self-care in your life.This may be enjoying a hot bath, drinking a yummy hot chocolate, or setting boundaries, saying no, or creating physical distance to a situation or person that doesn’t serve you. Listening to the things that bring you joy and creating space for them in your life.
You might wait for the other person to approach you first. Reflect on it, can you let it go? Forgiveness doesn’t always come easy but it allows you to let go of stuck emotions like resentment, shame, sadness, or anger. If you find it in yourself to be able to forgive it might be a great step to a new beginning. If you feel like it is still too much, you might want to find someone you can process the emotions with. A friend or someone neutral to talk with.
Allow all the stuck emotions to flow. Many people are afraid to face emotions like grief, disappointment, or sadness. People often try to shut them down. Find a nice space where you can sit with your emotions. It might help to write them down while listening to soothing music.
Bring your awareness to the present moment. The more we practice being present, the less our hurt has control over us. You could start a simple meditation practice where you give yourself time to digest what has happened. Or you could do any other practice that invites you into the present moment like cooking, knitting or sport. Creating a new habit of journaling (You can find an instruction for writing a gratitude journal HERE. ) and writing down your thoughts might be great support)
Be gentle with yourself
If you tend to be too critical with yourself or feel like you should be grown up and handle the situation easily and relaxed, then it is time to show yourself some compassion for the situation. A good trick is to try treating yourself like you would treat a good friend. What would you say to a good friend in this situation? What kind of advice would you give him or her? Allow all that empathy and support that you give to others to circle back to yourself for once. And then once more. Until you become a good friend to yourself.
Talk about it
Permit yourself to talk about your feelings, situations, or confrontations that might have left you hurt. Often people tend to feel like they aren’t allowed to talk about what happened to them, or feel that it would bother others if they did. Talking is such an important aspect of letting go and starting new. Find a good friend, coach/counselor, or therapist who is open to listening and supporting you.
To let go of the past isn’t easy but when you look deeply into your life you might come to understand that letting go isn’t a one-time thing, it is something you are doing every minute of every hour, from moment to moment.
You might come to realize that hurt is inevitable and you might not be able to avoid the emotions that accompany hurt but you can choose to treat yourself kindly and find resources and ways that support you.
If you feel like you want to let go of something in your life and aren’t quite sure how to work through it, you are very much invited to reach out to us. We can have a chat and see what will best support you.
Your Soulchat Team
Author: Nallely Courtney
Quote Brown, B. https://quotefancy.com/quote/777885/Bren-Brown-Let-go-of-who-you-think-you-should-be-in-order-to-be-who-you-are-Be-imperfect
Liao, H., & Bluck, S. (2018). THE ART OF LETTING GO: SELF-REGULATION PROMOTES GROWTH FROM CHALLENGING LIFE EVENTS. Innovation in Aging, 2(Suppl 1), 267.
Sercu, M., Renterghem, V. V., Pype, P., Aelbrecht, K., Derese, A., & Deveugele, M. (2015). “It is not the fading candle that one expects”: general practitioners’ perspectives on life-preserving versus “letting go” decision-making in end-of-life home care. Scandinavian Journal of Primary health care, 33(4), 233-242.
Hawkins, David R. (2013): Letting go. The pathway of surrender. 1st Hay House edition. Carlsbad, California, New York City, London, Sydney, New Delhi: Hay House.